I had children with the wrong person. I decided to to the thing right instead of doing the right thing. I tried to stick out the relationship for the sake of my kids. This is one of my biggest mistakes in life. If you are a father or father to be and you feel you might not be in the right relationship OR if you are afraid to leave a bad relationship here is some advice.
- The person I started a relationship with was the wrong person for me, on many levels. We got pregnant after a month and I was afraid to duck out of my responsibilities. Leaving the relationship doesn’t mean you are dodging any responsibilities as a parent. You can be a great parent and single.
- I believed my children would not forgive me for “walking out”. You never walkout of your kids life. Even if you only have every second weekend to see them you have a choice to make that weekend amazing for them. Believe it or not, that is enough for kids. The times you are apart are tough but they teach both you and your kids to cherish time you have together. That is a real life skill for both children and adults.
- I was afraid my partner would weaponize the kids after I left. This happens more often than you think and happened to me. Ignore it. Don’t ever give into temptation to fight back. Any reaction you give tarnishes yourself. Trust your children’s ability to learn from good example. Task yourself with being a great person. Do it for them.
- I was afraid I wouldn’t be strong enough to stay away from them. You never will be strong enough to watch your kids grow up when you are not around them. You will feel awful some days. I cry in the car commuting to and from work. It’s OK to do that. Cry often away from your kids so you don’t cry with your kids. Spend your time away from them planning new and fun things to do with them. Make it count.
The real measure of a person is not whether they are strong enough to do something. The real measure of a person is pushing forward in spite of not being strong enough. A great person once showed me that 🙂